Chapter 18 begins with Howard and Helga finally alone together, navigating an awkward sense of shyness. Despite their years of celibacy and advancing age, Howard feels a vulnerability that he cannot easily overcome, particularly in the presence of Helga, who carries a youthful and radiant demeanor. The two engage in a conversation, conducted in German, where they attempt to reconnect emotionally and bridge the gap of their long separation. In a moment of light-heartedness, Helga teases Howard by challenging him to define his political beliefs based on the patriotic symbols he has absent-mindedly doodled on the window. Howard, clearly uncomfortable with the political question, redirects the conversation to music, mentioning his fondness for Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas.” This humorous shift in focus reveals the complexities of their situation, where past burdens and present realities create an uncomfortable but deeply human moment between the two.

As they continue to share small, intimate moments, Helga expresses concern for her family—particularly her parents and her sister, Resi Noth. Howard, touched by her worry, recalls a poignant memory from February 12, 1945, the last day he saw the Noth family. He remembers visiting the Noths’ well-maintained white house, which stood resilient on the outskirts of war-torn Berlin. Dressed in his Free American Corps uniform, a group he had helped form but which had ultimately failed in its mission, Howard had intended to say his final goodbyes. His love for the Noths is evident as he recalls the chaotic scene unfolding outside, with Polish and Russian women hauling away furniture, while Werner Noth, Helga’s father, frantically tries to save a beautiful blue vase from being dropped by a slave. This vignette captures the contrast between the trivial and the tragic, as the family clings to what little beauty remains in their crumbling world.

The image of Werner’s intense reaction to the vase’s near destruction serves as a powerful symbol of the chaotic and brutal environment in which they lived. Despite the external violence and despair, Werner insists that others appreciate the vase, an act that symbolizes the desperate clinging to beauty amidst the overwhelming destruction surrounding them. Howard, aware of the futility of their situation, expresses his intent to leave and head for the front, a moment of mutual understanding and silent acceptance between him and the family. As they bid farewell, the conversation takes a more personal turn when Werner directs Howard to deal with Resi’s dog, a pet that cannot accompany them on their journey. This task further personalizes their grief, as it underscores the tragic and absurd reality of war—where even the simplest of attachments must be abandoned. Werner also compliments Howard’s uniform, a subtle acknowledgment of the complexity of their relationship, shaped by years of enmity and war but now tempered with a begrudging respect.

In the final moments of their interaction, Werner communicates a sense of ambivalence toward Howard. Despite the long-standing animosity between them, rooted in their differing nationalities and the scars of war, Werner expresses a certain appreciation for Howard’s role in helping to anchor him during these turbulent times. This moment of connection, fraught with layers of history, duty, and regret, paints a nuanced portrait of the human condition in times of extreme hardship. The chapter, through its emotional exchanges about loyalty, duty, and the absurdity of war, captures the complex and often contradictory nature of human relationships amidst the looming shadow of destruction. It is a poignant reminder that even in the darkest moments, individuals are capable of finding brief moments of understanding and connection, even if those moments are fleeting and marked by history’s harshest realities.