157 Results with the "Memoir" genre


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      Chapter 37

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 37 marks a shift in my journey as a performer, where I began to grapple with the restrictions placed on me and the way I expressed myself on stage. For so long, I had been told that my hair, my movement, and my performance were key to my appeal. The energy of a performance was supposed to be reflected in how I moved, how I danced, and how freely I let my hair fly. But during my Las Vegas residency, I found myself wearing tight wigs, dancing in a way that kept my hair still, and doing everything I…
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      Chapter 36

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 36 reflects a period of growth and reflection as I navigated the complexity of my career, personal life, and the ongoing control of the conservatorship. One of the things that gave me solace during my time in Vegas was teaching dance to children. Once a month, I would teach a group of forty kids, and in LA, I would teach every couple of months. The simplicity and joy of being around kids who were full of energy and had no judgment was healing. Their pure energy and eagerness to learn felt like a…
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      Chapter 35

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 35 captures a period in my life where the control of the conservatorship suffocated me, but I still tried to hold on to small moments of personal freedom. Living in Las Vegas and performing regularly was a bittersweet experience. Initially, I loved the dry heat of the city and the feeling of being part of the excitement and luck that Vegas represents. But that joy began to fade, as the reality of being controlled by my family and the conservatorship set in. The beginning of my residency in 2013 had…
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      Chapter 34

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 34 reflects the internal and external struggles I faced during a period of my life when my personal and professional worlds collided under the weight of the conservatorship. Despite the overwhelming sense of misery that hung over me, I tried to find small moments of joy. One thing that kept me going was the routine of spending time with my kids and working on my passion for dance. Teaching children brought me so much happiness and gave me a sense of purpose. Their energy was pure and without…
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      Chapter 33

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 33 captures a time of intense struggle and inner turmoil, where the constraints of the conservatorship drained my energy and joy. Despite my efforts to maintain a sense of hope for the sake of my sons, the reality of being controlled left me feeling like a shadow of my former self. I could sense the fire inside me dimming, and though I tried to hide it, I know my fans could see it too. They didn't know the full extent of what I was going through, but I could no longer muster the energy to put on a…
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      Chapter 32

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 32 describes a time when I was caught in a web of control and manipulation, where the small moments of freedom I once had were stripped away. I felt trapped in a life where even simple things like having a meal or seeing a date required permission and constant scrutiny. My father, who controlled every aspect of my life, imposed strict rules on who I could be with, what I could eat, and even how I could spend my time. When I went to dinner parties, security would inspect the house for any alcohol or…
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      Chapter 31

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 31 represents a critical point in my struggle with the conservatorship, where I began to question the contradictions and the manipulation at play in my life. The reason given for the conservatorship was that I couldn’t manage the basic aspects of my life—feeding myself, managing money, or even being a mother. Yet, after it was established, I was sent to work, appearing on How I Met Your Mother and embarking on a grueling world tour. This contradiction didn’t make sense to me. On one hand, I…
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      Chapter 30

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 30 marks one of the most trying periods in my life, as I struggled to maintain my sense of self while being trapped in a system that controlled every aspect of my existence. During this time, while I was fighting to hold on to whatever fragments of my identity and independence I could, my mother decided to write a memoir. Instead of offering support or showing any real concern for my mental and emotional state, she chose to capitalize on my struggles. She wrote about watching me shave my head, a…
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      Chapter 3

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 3 opens with an unexpected and alarming event that changes the course of the narrator’s life. A young boy arrives at their door, breathlessly shouting for her mother, and instantly, the air is filled with panic. This moment marks the beginning of a family tragedy that would deeply affect the narrator's relationship with her brother, Bryan. The distress signals sent by the boy’s frantic behavior were enough to fill the narrator with dread, as she felt something terrible had happened. Following…
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      Chapter 29

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 29 was the beginning of a chilling winter in my life, both literally and emotionally, even under the California sun. Los Angeles, with its endless blue skies and palm trees, usually doesn’t feel seasonal. But in January 2008, everything around me seemed cold and distant, not because of the weather—but because I felt deeply alone. While others sipped iced drinks and strolled in flip-flops, I was dealing with a breakdown that landed me in the hospital. My behavior had become erratic. I was on a…
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