54 Results in the "Non-Fiction" category


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      Chapter 33

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 33 captures a time of intense struggle and inner turmoil, where the constraints of the conservatorship drained my energy and joy. Despite my efforts to maintain a sense of hope for the sake of my sons, the reality of being controlled left me feeling like a shadow of my former self. I could sense the fire inside me dimming, and though I tried to hide it, I know my fans could see it too. They didn't know the full extent of what I was going through, but I could no longer muster the energy to put on a…
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      Chapter 32

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 32 describes a time when I was caught in a web of control and manipulation, where the small moments of freedom I once had were stripped away. I felt trapped in a life where even simple things like having a meal or seeing a date required permission and constant scrutiny. My father, who controlled every aspect of my life, imposed strict rules on who I could be with, what I could eat, and even how I could spend my time. When I went to dinner parties, security would inspect the house for any alcohol or…
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      Chapter 31

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 31 represents a critical point in my struggle with the conservatorship, where I began to question the contradictions and the manipulation at play in my life. The reason given for the conservatorship was that I couldn’t manage the basic aspects of my life—feeding myself, managing money, or even being a mother. Yet, after it was established, I was sent to work, appearing on How I Met Your Mother and embarking on a grueling world tour. This contradiction didn’t make sense to me. On one hand, I…
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      Chapter 30

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 30 marks one of the most trying periods in my life, as I struggled to maintain my sense of self while being trapped in a system that controlled every aspect of my existence. During this time, while I was fighting to hold on to whatever fragments of my identity and independence I could, my mother decided to write a memoir. Instead of offering support or showing any real concern for my mental and emotional state, she chose to capitalize on my struggles. She wrote about watching me shave my head, a…
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      Chapter 29

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 29 was the beginning of a chilling winter in my life, both literally and emotionally, even under the California sun. Los Angeles, with its endless blue skies and palm trees, usually doesn’t feel seasonal. But in January 2008, everything around me seemed cold and distant, not because of the weather—but because I felt deeply alone. While others sipped iced drinks and strolled in flip-flops, I was dealing with a breakdown that landed me in the hospital. My behavior had become erratic. I was on a…
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      Chapter 28

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 28 captures a moment that marks one of the lowest points in my life, a moment of sheer desperation. It was early January 2008, and after spending some time with my sons, I was confronted with the crushing realization that I might never see them again. The security guard, who had previously worked for me but was now working for Kevin, arrived to pick up my children at the end of the visit. He first placed Preston in the car, and as he came to take Jayden, an overwhelming fear gripped me. My mind…
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      Chapter 27

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 27 describes a time in my life when I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, looking into an abyss. After shaving my head, I went to Bryan’s apartment in Los Angeles, where I was greeted by his two ex-girlfriends and my mother. My mother barely acknowledged me, and I felt invisible to her, like my appearance was all that mattered. It was an extremely painful reminder that the world often cares more about physical appearance than the inner struggles someone is going through. I had been…
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      Chapter 26

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 26 marks a particularly dark period of my life when everything seemed to be falling apart. Without my children, I felt a profound sense of loss, and my world became unmanageable. I didn’t know how to care for myself, and every day felt like a struggle. After the divorce, I had to leave the home I had cherished and found myself in a random English-style cottage in Beverly Hills. The paparazzi, sensing vulnerability, surrounded me like sharks sensing blood in the water, and their presence felt even…
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      Chapter 25

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 25 represents one of the darkest periods in my life, filled with the overwhelming weight of being a new mother while simultaneously facing intense public scrutiny. The love I felt for my children was undeniable, and in many ways, they gave me a reason to keep going. Their presence brought a sense of purpose and fulfillment that I had never experienced before. However, being a mother during this time, while also dealing with external pressures, was more challenging than I could have ever imagined. I…
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      Chapter 24

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      by testsuphomeAdmin Chapter 24 captures a moment in my life when I was struggling emotionally and socially, and someone unexpected showed up with genuine kindness—Paris Hilton. While many people dismissed her as just another rich socialite, I saw something entirely different. There was a grace to the way she carried herself, even when people were being unkind. Her ability to maintain poise under judgment was something I admired. At a time when my life felt like it was unraveling, she showed compassion. Paris recognized the…
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