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In “The Devil’s Dictionary,” a satirical piece by Ambrose Bierce, the chapter presents definitions for terms like “Ubiquity,” “Ugliness,” and “Ultimatum” with a characteristic blend of wit and cynicism.

Ubiquity is described as the ability to be in all places at one time, distinct from omnipresence, which defines a presence in all places at all times—a trait attributed only to God and the luminiferous ether. The text humorously comments on the misunderstanding of this concept in the Middle Ages, leading to significant conflict within the Church. The author mentions the Ubiquitarians, a sect of Lutherans who mistakenly believed in Christ’s omnipresence outside the Eucharist. This error, the author jests, would have certainly condemned them, underlining the historical confusion and debate surrounding religious omnipresence and ubiquity.

Ugliness, in Bierce’s acerbic view, is termed a divine gift bestowed upon certain women, paradoxically resulting in virtue without the need for humility. This definition offers a critique of societal norms and perceptions concerning beauty, suggesting a complex relationship between outer appearances and inner qualities.

An “Ultimatum” is defined through a fictitious scenario between the Turkish Ministry and Austria, highlighting the absurdity and bravado often inherent in diplomatic exchanges before concessions are made. The scenario unfolds with exaggerated claims of military and naval strength, humorously inflated to emphasize the folly and bluster common in the prelude to war or conflict resolution. The Minister, after a theatrical consideration of their supposed military might, decides upon a course of action that hints at the inevitable capitulation hidden behind pompous rhetoric.

Bierce’s distinctive style—cynical, satirical, and incisively clever—shines through in these definitions, offering commentary on human nature, the complexities of religious belief, societal norms, and the farcical aspects of diplomacy. Through his definitions, Bierce invites the reader to reconsider common concepts with a critical, and often amused, eye.