Chapter 12

In Chapter 12, Phoebe awakens with a strong desire to connect with the ocean and decides to take a walk along the Cliff Walk. As she prepares, she spots Lila and Gary posing for photographs in the conservatory, dressed formally, which strikes her as off-schedule considering the early hour. She admires Lila’s beauty superficially but almost immediately recalls Lila’s judgment about fashion. After a brief moment of awkwardness, Phoebe exits to the coast, where she delights in her solitude.

As she walks, Phoebe encounters a joyful yellow dog and begins a playful race. She reflects on her longing for a pet and the freedom a dog would bring to her mornings. She eventually follows the dog to risky areas marked by signs warning about potential danger near the cliffs. Here, she meets a fisherman who welcomes her dog and engages in light conversation. Phoebe contemplates her relationship with her father, noting how he often viewed loneliness optimistically, like a rewarding endeavor.

Sitting on the rocks, Phoebe feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude and awe for the raw, infinite ocean before her, a powerful reminder of existence and time. Her peaceful reflection is interrupted by a message from Matt, her husband, which stirs feelings of resentment and frustration. She chooses not to respond, believing he deserves to feel the same turmoil she is experiencing.

The fisherman becomes animated as he hooks a fish, inviting Phoebe to help. She successfully reels in a sea robin but realizes its value is minimal, echoing her own perceptions of worthlessness. Upon return to the solid ground of the path, Phoebe acknowledges her survival amid the emotional turbulence of her life.

Her thoughts shift to Edith Wharton, whose house nearby holds little nostalgia for Phoebe. It signifies a points of loss and artistic birth during Wharton’s unknown years. On her return, she encounters Gary, who lightens the mood and prompts Phoebe to confront her new reality and identity, sharing thoughtful banter about loss and relationships. As she heads back, anticipation about her role as maid of honor takes over, setting the stage for the day to come. The chapter concludes with Phoebe accepting her responsibilities with a renewed sense of purpose and a hint of humor amongst the bridal festivities .