Chapter 8: Norma

Chapter 8: Norma reflects on the nature of marriage and its idealistic perception, where two people bind their lives together with the hope that their love will withstand the test of time. She acknowledges her envy for those who seem to have found true fulfillment in their marriages, something that remains elusive to her despite her desire for the same. Norma had once embraced the idea of love with Mark, believing in their shared future, but the weight of her unresolved past began to surface, creating an emotional rift between them. Their marriage, a small and intimate affair held in Aunt June’s backyard in August 1983, marks the beginning of their shared life together. In the early days, they eagerly looked for jobs and a sense of happiness, hoping that the simplicity of their union would bring them the peace they craved. However, as time passed, their life together became less about shared joy and more about maintaining a routine, with Norma feeling increasingly detached from the life she envisioned, despite her mother’s persistent encouragement to engage with their church community.

As the chapter unfolds, Norma faces a profound moment when she tells her mother about her pregnancy, which is met with overwhelming joy. Yet, this happiness is short-lived as Norma’s visit to the doctor soon turns from excitement to unease when fetal movement is absent. A further medical examination delivers the tragic news that the pregnancy is no longer viable. This devastating revelation plunges Norma into a dark emotional abyss, and despite Mark’s supportive presence, she is consumed by guilt and overwhelming sadness. The delivery of their daughter, Sarah, is overshadowed by deep anguish instead of the joy they had expected. Their grief-filled hearts mark the delivery and funeral, and Sarah’s burial becomes an unspoken reminder of everything they have lost. The pain Norma experiences becomes a haunting presence in her life, and she feels a heavy burden weighing on her, one that she cannot shake off, despite the efforts of Mark and others to help her cope.

In the weeks following Sarah’s loss, Norma withdraws into herself, retreating from her family and friends. The emotional weight of grief feels insurmountable, and Norma cannot seem to find a way to face it. A trip to Nova Scotia with Mark provides temporary relief, but the loss of their daughter still lingers heavily over them, as if it casts a shadow that no place can escape. As they spend time together, Norma contemplates the future with a sense of foreboding, thinking about her relationship with her mother and the impending “ghosts” of her life—memories of loss that will continue to haunt her. These reflections deepen her sense of isolation, as she fears that the emotional scars from Sarah’s death will never fully heal, leaving her forever burdened by her past. The growing sense of dread about what the future may hold creates an atmosphere of uncertainty and unease, intensifying her grief and the quiet sorrow that continues to envelop her.

The chapter culminates in a pivotal conversation with Mark, where Norma expresses her reluctance to try again for children. She confesses that the memories of Sarah and the trauma of her loss have cast a long shadow over any hope she may have had for a future child. Her admission becomes a turning point in their marriage, as it forces both Norma and Mark to confront the deep emotional scars left by their loss. Norma’s decision to not pursue having another child highlights the profound impact of grief on her psyche, as she feels that her past loss would cloud the joy of any future pregnancy. The conversation brings about a shift in their relationship, and the tension between them begins to grow. The hope they once shared for their future is overshadowed by the uncertainty of their grief, and the possibility of healing seems increasingly out of reach. The chapter concludes with a sense of sorrow and unresolved pain, as Norma and Mark both struggle with the weight of their individual grief, now manifesting in their marriage. This moment signifies a profound shift in their relationship, marking the end of a hopeful era and the beginning of a painful journey toward understanding the true depth of their emotional wounds.