In Chap­ter Thir­ty-Three of “If These Wings Could Fly,” the nar­ra­tive grap­ples with the pro­found impact of words, par­tic­u­lar­ly those spo­ken in moments of anger. The author con­tem­plates the weight of cer­tain words, ana­lyz­ing how they are per­ceived and the emo­tion­al tur­moil they can inflict. Words like “ice queen” evoke a feel­ing of being bur­dened, akin to being weighed down by an invis­i­ble teth­er, while “brat” is dis­missed eas­i­ly, likened to a rain­drop that rolls off the back.

In stark con­trast, the word “bitch” is com­pared to a painful splin­ter that can be extract­ed with effort, allow­ing the speak­er to per­sist and move for­ward. How­ev­er, the term “cunt” holds a much deep­er sig­nif­i­cance. It is described as a fes­ter­ing dis­ease that lingers, remind­ing the speak­er of the ini­tial time it was used against her. This word res­onates with a sense of shame and degra­da­tion, evok­ing mem­o­ries tied to her moth­er, who had been sub­ject­ed to sim­i­lar ver­bal abuse. The speak­er reflects on how this term, laden with con­tempt, sig­nif­i­cant­ly under­mines her iden­ti­ty, reduc­ing her to mere pieces—depersonalized and objec­ti­fied.

The malev­o­lent plea­sure in the utter­ance car­ries a sense of vic­to­ry for the speak­er’s aggres­sor, who bears a tone of pride in wield­ing such a dam­ag­ing word. The insid­i­ous nature of this term lingers not just in the moment but for months, embed­ding itself into her psy­che and serv­ing as a reminder of the pow­er of lan­guage when it is levied with mal­ice. Ulti­mate­ly, this chap­ter illus­trates the endur­ing scars left by hos­tile words, empha­siz­ing how they can strip away human­i­ty and per­son­al worth, leav­ing one feel­ing like an object of dis­dain. In essence, it exam­ines both the emo­tion­al and psy­cho­log­i­cal weight of words that cut deep, show­cas­ing how they can irrev­o­ca­bly alter one’s sense of self.