Chapter 31: A Humbug begins with the arrival of Alfred Smirk, a groom hired for his appearance rather than his ability. Tall, confident, and well-dressed, Smirk impresses the master with polished boots and smooth manners. To the casual eye, he seems perfect—always brushing Beauty’s mane, oiling his hooves, and keeping his coat shining. But these efforts are only skin deep. While Smirk ensures Beauty looks good when the master is around, he fails at the fundamental tasks of a groom. The saddle is put on while still damp, the bit rusts from poor cleaning, and the crupper stiffens from lack of care. Beneath the shine is neglect, and it begins to show. Beauty starts to feel the consequences—his stall smells foul, his appetite drops, and his eyes begin to burn. The surface charm of Smirk hides a lack of real skill and care.

Smirk’s grooming may appear sufficient to outsiders, but the day-to-day impact on Beauty is unmistakable. His stable, never properly swept or aired, becomes a source of discomfort. Beauty’s once-bright energy fades under the sting of ammonia rising from uncleaned straw. When questioned about the odor, Smirk dismisses the concern with empty reasoning. He claims that thorough cleaning might endanger Beauty’s health or blames supposed drainage issues. The master, uncertain but trusting, hires a bricklayer to examine the drains. Nothing is found to be wrong. The real issue remains unaddressed—the laziness of the groom himself. Meanwhile, Beauty’s hooves begin to deteriorate from standing in filth. His movements lose their usual grace, replaced by sluggishness and instability. Yet Smirk, always looking for a way to shift blame, tells the master that the horse simply needs more road work.

Eventually, Beauty stumbles severely during a city ride, alarming his master enough to call for a farrier. The diagnosis is swift and direct: Beauty has thrush, a painful hoof condition caused by prolonged exposure to wet and dirty bedding. The farrier, experienced and straightforward, criticizes the stable’s condition without hesitation. He orders Beauty be brought to his care immediately. Only then does the master realize the depth of neglect his horse has suffered. The moment is telling—not because of cruelty, but because of the harm caused by false competence. Smirk, with all his polish and poise, lacked the discipline to provide real care. His charm masked an absence of responsibility, a dangerous flaw when the well-being of animals is at stake.

This chapter isn’t just about poor grooming; it reveals a broader truth about appearances versus substance. Smirk’s ability to impress through surface gestures creates a false sense of trust, one that allows hidden problems to grow unchecked. Beauty’s health decline happens gradually, quietly, as a result of tasks not done—not from mistreatment, but from indifference. The master, well-meaning but too reliant on appearances, becomes complicit in that neglect. It’s a reminder that real care involves consistency, attentiveness, and humility—qualities Smirk lacks entirely. The chapter offers a subtle but sharp critique of vanity, especially in roles where others depend on you for well-being. A horse cannot protest or demand better treatment, making integrity in caretakers not just ideal, but essential.

Neglect, when masked by charm, is especially dangerous. Beauty’s experience under Smirk is a warning to all who trust care to those who only seem competent. Superficial treatment may hide flaws for a time, but the effects always emerge—often at the cost of health or happiness. This chapter quietly argues for better awareness, especially in professions involving animals, where attention to detail and sincerity are vital. Today, conditions like thrush remain preventable with proper stable management and regular cleaning—something any trained groom would prioritize. By contrasting Smirk’s polished exterior with his failed responsibilities, Anna Sewell illustrates how character is revealed not in words or looks, but in the everyday choices a person makes. And for horses like Beauty, those choices mean everything.