In “What Goes in Ear­ly Goes in Deep,” the author, at thir­ty years old, makes an impul­sive deci­sion to leave a sta­ble job in Wash­ing­ton to buy a food store, spark­ing a mix of excite­ment and anx­i­ety. Her par­ents are hor­ri­fied and per­ceive her shift from a promis­ing gov­ern­ment career to that of a shop­keep­er as a down­grade, reflect­ing a long-stand­ing dis­con­nect between her aspi­ra­tions and their expec­ta­tions. Grow­ing up, she felt alien­at­ed from their ideals, which revolved around social appear­ances and con­for­mi­ty.

Her child­hood mem­o­ries are col­ored by a con­trast between her mater­nal grand­par­ents, Mor­ris and Bessie Rosen­berg, and her pater­nal grand­par­ents, whom she describes with less affec­tion. The Rosen­bergs, immi­grants who built a life through hard work, cre­at­ed a wel­com­ing envi­ron­ment filled with love and tra­di­tion­al foods. Con­verse­ly, her moth­er’s side of the fam­i­ly, par­tic­u­lar­ly her grand­moth­er Annette, was cold­er and more crit­i­cal, fos­ter­ing an atmos­phere devoid of warmth.

The nar­ra­tive details her upbring­ing in Stam­ford, Con­necti­cut, marked by a seem­ing­ly ide­al sub­ur­ban facade that hid the emo­tion­al dis­tance in her fam­i­ly. Her father, a charis­mat­ic sur­geon, com­mand­ed atten­tion with his humor and style, yet his emo­tion­al volatil­i­ty cre­at­ed a tense house­hold. Her moth­er, though ele­gant, strug­gled to con­nect with her chil­dren, focus­ing on con­trol and appear­ance over nur­tur­ing.

Despite achiev­ing aca­d­e­m­i­cal­ly, the author recalls feel­ings of inad­e­qua­cy fos­tered by her father’s unyield­ing expec­ta­tions and his explo­sive anger. Their par­ent­ing style pri­or­i­tized achieve­ment over emo­tion­al sup­port, lead­ing to a volatile atmos­phere where noth­ing felt sat­is­fac­to­ry. She and her broth­er became adept at hid­ing their strug­gles, feel­ing like chil­dren with­out a roadmap to nav­i­gate approval.

School pro­vid­ed an escape for the author, where friend­ships flour­ished, and she found enjoy­ment in pur­suits like sci­ence. Her inves­tiga­tive nature came to life in projects that earned her acco­lades, yet she remained starved for parental approval, which was often absent.

Amid soci­etal pres­sures, the author grap­pled with the expec­ta­tions of wom­an­hood in the 1960s, feel­ing her choic­es sti­fled by her mother’s con­trol­ling nature. The chap­ter con­cludes with a poignant reflec­tion on the long-last­ing impact of her upbring­ing, focus­ing on the inter­nal dia­logue of self-doubt and the desire for inde­pen­dence, as she nav­i­gat­ed her ado­les­cent years under the shad­ow of her par­ents’ rigid world­view.