• [It feels so…] Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin It feels so disheartening to live in a world where dreams, which should be the lifeblood of creativity and human expression, are often disregarded. In many societies, especially within the framework of American culture, what can't be measured, bought, or sold is often perceived as insignificant. Dreams, as intangible entities that defy quantification, exist as fleeting, transient experiences that are easily cast aside in favor of more tangible, material pursuits. They contain within them complex emotions,…
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      Roya Shams

      Roya Shams Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin Roya Shams finds herself contemplating the meaning of her life in the summer of 1987 in Tehran. As she navigates the daily routines of cleaning and cooking, she becomes increasingly aware of her dissatisfaction, feeling distanced from the very essence of her existence. Her desire for quiet solitude often manifests in small personal rituals, like sipping tea alone or doodling, moments that offer brief reprieves from the demands of her role. However, these moments of peace are disrupted by the arrival of…
    • [Gilles Deleuze called…] Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin Gilles Deleuze called elegy "la grande plainte," which translates to "the great complaint," symbolizing the profound sorrow that is often felt in the face of overwhelming loss or societal wrongs. This concept of deep grief has a particular relevance in Iranian culture, especially during the observance of Ashura. The day marks the martyrdom of Imam Hussain, who died in 680 CE during the Battle of Karbala, and has since become an emblem of sacrifice and defiance. His death, at the age of fifty-five, remains…
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      Cyrus Shams

      Cyrus Shams Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin Cyrus Shams, standing at a crossroads of identity and self-doubt, navigates the weight of his Iranian heritage against the backdrop of an American existence that often feels unwelcoming. The summer storm raging outside Keady University in June 2012 mirrors the turmoil within him, a tempest of frustration, alienation, and an unshakable awareness of being othered. To Cyrus, storms are not mere meteorological occurrences but personal affronts, physical manifestations of a world that refuses to accept him…
    • [The iron law…] Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin The iron law of sobriety, much like the inescapable cycles of human suffering, follows a path that is both predictable and deeply individual. The struggle with addiction has been told in countless forms, much like an old folk song, where the melody remains the same, yet each person carries their own variation of the tune. It is a tale that is universally understood yet uniquely lived, with each person’s battle shaped by their circumstances, their weaknesses, and their ability to confront the truth. The…
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      Ali Shams

      Ali Shams Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin Ali Shams reflects deeply on his daily life working at a chicken breeding farm in Fort Wayne, a place that functions less like a traditional farm and more like a high-efficiency laboratory. The farm is designed to produce chickens that grow as quickly and efficiently as possible, with the primary objective being to convert grains into protein. The unnatural environment is evident in the process, where chickens are bred to survive without immune systems and are kept in completely controlled settings, free…
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      Friday

      Friday Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin Friday begins with Cyrus Shams, who, as he walks from the Brooklyn Museum to Prospect Park, reflects deeply on his life and recent conversation with Orkideh about martyrdom. Her words about the complex notion of martyrdom linger in his mind, causing him to question the core differences between the intense desires to live and to die. His reflection on life, its meaning, and the inevitability of death takes an unexpected turn as he finds symbolism in the simple, everyday acts of life, such as tying his…
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      Arash Shirazi

      Arash Shirazi Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin Arash Shirazi finds himself confronting the harsh realities of war in February 1984, as he grapples with the inevitability of his conscription into the Iranian military. Caught in the turmoil of the ongoing revolution, he considers his role as a "zero soldier," someone without the power or means to avoid the draft. His life is shaped by the revolution’s shift from an idealistic struggle to one driven by zealotry and violence. Arash reflects on the inevitable fate of countless others like him, imagining…
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      Zee Novak

      Zee Novak Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin Zee Novak reflects on the early spring of 2014, when he and Cyrus Shams were sharing a modest apartment in Indiana, just a year removed from their graduation. During this time, their relationship was defined by casual dating, excessive drinking, and routine activities that, despite their chaotic nature, brought a sense of stability. However, Cyrus eventually decided to make a drastic change by embracing sobriety, marking the beginning of a shift in their shared experiences. One such shift involved their…
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      Friday

      Friday Cover
      by testsuphomeAdmin Friday opens with a reflective Cyrus Shams engaged in an intimate conversation with Orkideh at the Brooklyn Museum. Orkideh, a terminally ill artist, shares her experience while exhibiting her artwork, as she faces the inevitability of death. Cyrus, who is deeply unsettled by thoughts of his own mortality, admits to a dark and distressing thought, hinting that he might "kill himself soon." However, he is immediately troubled by the phrase, as it sounds both mechanical and empty. He expresses a deep longing…
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