Wynton finds himself in a deeply reflective and overwhelming emotional state, consumed by the possibility that he might no longer be alive. The silence around him, only interrupted by the soft, distressed breathing of his mother, makes him question his very existence. His mother, in a rare and vulnerable moment, opens up about her feelings for Wynton, acknowledging that their relationship is fraught with complexities and secrets. She admits to having kept certain truths from him, particularly about his father, Theo, who had always been a significant figure in his life. These revelations stir a storm of emotions within Wynton, who feels a mix of confusion, resentment, and sorrow. His mother’s confessions—though meant to preserve his bond with Theo—only seem to complicate his understanding of family and identity, leaving him questioning everything he thought he knew about his relationships.

As Wynton reflects on his childhood, memories flood his mind, recalling moments of innocent love and closeness with his younger brother, Miles. Yet, these memories are tainted when Wynton and Miles stumble upon the shocking discovery of their mother’s affair with their uncle Clive. This revelation changes everything for Wynton, shattering his perception of the family he once believed was built on trust and love. The pain and betrayal he feels are magnified when he confronts Clive, but the conversation only leaves him feeling small and powerless, unable to process the depth of the hurt that has been inflicted upon him. This moment marks a significant shift in Wynton’s emotional state, as he grapples with the fact that his idealized version of family has been irrevocably shattered by the secrets and lies surrounding him. The experience leaves him struggling to find solid ground amidst the overwhelming emotional turmoil.

With the devastating news that his father has slipped into a coma, Wynton feels a profound sense of urgency and desperation to connect with him. Hoping that by confessing his feelings and unresolved thoughts, he might evoke some response from his father, Wynton speaks to him, pouring out his heart. However, his words are met with an unyielding silence, amplifying his guilt and sense of loss. Wynton becomes consumed by the belief that he is responsible for his father’s condition, unable to shake the notion that his actions—or lack of actions—contributed to his father’s inability to recover. The guilt festers, growing stronger with each passing moment, as Wynton wishes he had done more, had said more, to reach his father before it was too late. This experience of loss, combined with his yearning for a connection he will never get, leaves Wynton feeling isolated and emotionally hollow, grappling with an internal conflict that seems unresolvable.

The chapter explores Wynton’s simmering anger, jealousy, and deep sadness as he watches his brother, Miles, connect with their father in ways he cannot. Wynton becomes bitter at the thought that Miles, in his eyes, has become the living embodiment of the connection Wynton has lost. This jealousy is further compounded by the birth of his sister, Dizzy, whose striking resemblance to Wynton briefly brings him joy. However, this small comfort is soon overshadowed by new revelations about family ties and dynamics that only intensify his feelings of alienation and loneliness. Wynton’s internal struggle deepens as he begins to feel disconnected not only from his father but also from his siblings, amplifying the emotional divide he feels within his family. As the chapter progresses, Wynton finds himself standing metaphorically in a vast meadow, waiting for something—perhaps connection, perhaps closure—that he feels he will never achieve. This scene serves as a powerful metaphor for his emotional state, where he is lost in his own thoughts, unable to move forward or find solace, trapped by his emotions and the fractured relationships around him.