**Chap­ter Sum­ma­ry: Cas­sidy**

In this chal­leng­ing chap­ter, the nar­ra­tor, Cas­sidy, reflects on a tur­bu­lent peri­od in her life fol­low­ing their depar­ture from Par­adise Springs. Despite promis­es, the real­i­ty proves to be bleak and unrec­og­niz­able as both she and her moth­er under­go sig­nif­i­cant changes. At four­teen, Cas­sidy bears a strik­ing resem­blance to her moth­er as she did at eigh­teen, often con­fused when look­ing through old pho­tos. The chap­ter high­lights the death of their RV, “Sadie Mae,” sym­bol­iz­ing a loss of sta­bil­i­ty and heartache for Cas­sidy. The act of sell­ing their home for parts feels dev­as­tat­ing, as if they are part­ing with cru­cial pieces of their iden­ti­ty.

Cas­sidy nar­rates mem­o­ries pep­pered with chaos and neglect, reveal­ing trou­bling instances cap­tured in pho­tographs that depict her sur­round­ed by adults in uncon­trolled envi­ron­ments. Post-Par­adise Springs, her moth­er begins to aban­don their pre­vi­ous lifestyle of nature explo­ration in favor of par­ty­ing and self-med­ica­tion. The rou­tine of trav­el they once cher­ished trans­forms into a cycle of RV parks—the once com­fort­ing rit­u­als fade. Her moth­er evolves into dif­fer­ent per­sonas, often embrac­ing a phi­los­o­phy of “Tran­scen­dent Liv­ing,” lead­ing to con­fu­sion in their rela­tion­ship.

The dete­ri­o­ra­tion of their lives becomes appar­ent as they shift from healthy liv­ing to fre­quent­ing par­ties and con­sum­ing unhealthy food. Cas­sidy feels increas­ing­ly iso­lat­ed, try­ing to nav­i­gate her mother’s errat­ic behav­ior, which oscil­lates from con­nec­tion to with­draw­al. She learns to cope with not only her moth­er’s insta­bil­i­ty but her own sense of dis­con­nec­tion, feel­ing like a ghost in her own life. Aca­d­e­m­ic pur­suits are sac­ri­ficed; Cas­sidy finds solace in lit­er­a­ture, immers­ing her­self in books while grap­pling with a pro­found sense of loss.

The chap­ter con­cludes on a poignant note as Cassidy’s intro­spec­tion reveals her search for iden­ti­ty amidst the chaos. The word “Desideri­um” emerges, cap­tur­ing her deep yearn­ing for lost sta­bil­i­ty and con­nec­tion, encom­pass­ing the cen­tral themes of yearn­ing and dis­lo­ca­tion in her nar­ra­tive.